Fearfully Wonderfully Me

Growing in God and Inspiring Young Women Through Faith and Fashion

To the Girl Who Feels Unlovable

To the Girl Who Feels Unlovable, 

The day is here. A day of celebration and romance for people in relationships. But for many, it’s a reminder of loneliness.

Although you can choose to make the most of Valentine’s Day as a single person, sometimes heartache just won’t let you.

I was that girl last winter. The girl who worried that she may remain single forever. Let’s face it, finding a nice, Godly man is difficult in today’s world. And it seems nearly impossible when you feel you are unlovable.

As someone who is battling a chronic illness, I often felt that a guy would want nothing to do with me. After all, a lot of days I struggled  just to make it through class or homework. How in the world could I keep up with all of the Instagram-worthy adventurous dates my peers always posted?

I felt hopeless because I couldn’t see my value.

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What God Sees

If you read last week’s post, then you already have a firm foundation on which your true value lies. It cannot be based on our holiness, because we are sinners who are not worthy of God’s holy presence.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21 NIV)

Even though we are not worthy of salvation on our own, Jesus willingly gave up His life for us anyway. That’s right, lovely one. You are loved enough for God to give up His only Son as a permanent sacrifice for your sins.

If that isn’t heroic and romantic, I don’t know what is.

Although we can’t always see our own value, God does. He loves you no matter what–whether single or married. He loves you even though you have a scarred past or struggle with sin. He loves you even if you’re battling illness or just don’t fit in.

And this will never change.

The Lie of the Unlovable

Sometimes we have to keep reminding ourselves of our value in God’s eyes. The enemy wants you to believe that you’ll be forever alone. And that if you’re single, it means there’s something wrong with you.

Those are lies. Although I can’t guarantee you a spouse, I can promise that God is faithful and knows what’s best for your life. Keep praying and seeking the Lord in your singleness, and you’ll find abundant blessings in your life.

When I was afraid that my health issues made me unworthy of love, a friend of mine reminded me of a beautiful truth.

A man who God wants you to be with will love you for who you are inside, not just for what you can do.

True love is for who you are

True love is about loving someone completely–even their “unlovable” parts. This is what God does for us, and this is the grace that allows relationships to truly thrive.

Just because a guy hasn’t seen your value yet, it doesn’t negate your worth. Good things take time to grow, and the right one is worth the wait.

Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right. (Song of Songs 8:4 NLT)

Your True Identity 

After finally surrendering my dreams of romance and marriage to God, and allowing Him to become my source of confidence, I found unsurpassing peace.

If you’ve been keeping up with my posts, then you probably know I’m in a relationship now. Love is crazy, scary, and good. And when it is real, it goes beyond what we think about ourselves.

To the girl who feels unlovable, I understand. I was you not too long ago, and sometimes I still struggle.

Being in a relationship does not mean you will feel confident and perfectly happy all of the time. People are flawed, and the enemy still creeps in with lies.

But I now know that I am valued by God, no matter what my relationship status is. And so are you, lovely one. Whether you are single or in a relationship, please know that you are loved beyond measure.

God loves the unlovable of this world. He calls you valuable, He calls you daughter, He calls you redeemed.

He calls you His.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. (Ephesians 2:4-5 NIV)


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You May Not Be Worthy, but You Are Valued

I scroll through Instagram, glancing at the images when I see the increasingly popular hashtag attached to inspirational Christian posts.

#worthy

The concept of worthiness is popular in makeup commercials and diet ads. And that makes sense, of course. Self-care and beauty products tell us we’re worth it because a hardworking woman deserves such things. However, this is a worldly standard, not a Biblical one. When it comes to salvation, we must face a harsh truth.

We are not worthy–not even close.

But we are valued.

Worthy of Nothing

What’s the difference between having worth and being valued? Well, for the spiritual purpose of this post, worthiness is counted as holiness. Throughout history, man has been elevating himself even above God in terms of worth.

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned (Romans 5:12 NIV)

Well, that’s not a feel good Bible verse to highlight. But that’s reality. We’re all sinners deserving of death. Perhaps it might not seem that way to most of us. After all, there are some pretty messed up people out there. All you have to do is watch the news.

But don’t let your pride fool you, lovely one. We all sin. It starts with lust, greed, hatred, and rebellion. It sneaks up slowly. It’s inescapable. And despite what the world says, there are no amount of works we can do to save ourselves.

So why on earth am I preaching this fire and brimstone? Well, lovely one, without darkness, we could not understand light. Without pain and ugliness, we could never know healing and beauty.

We could never fathom how valued we are by God, even in the midst of our unworthiness.

 Valued to The Cross

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. (John 3:16-18 NIV)

It’s one of the most famous passages of the Bible, yet the meaning never ceases to amaze me. In our natural sinful state, we stand condemned.

But God, out of love for His children who have rebelled, decided to sacrifice His perfect Son Jesus Christ, so that we might be saved.

Why did God do this for humanity when we are so unworthy? Because He saw value in us. We may not be worthy of God’s perfect holiness, but He considers us valuable enough to die for!

Jesus paid it all image

 

God came down as a man to reach out to you in all of your imperfections and struggles. He came down to stretch out a loving, tender hand to you. He did this because He values you, lovely one.

We can choose to place our value in many things in this world. Our looks, money, success, or relationships. However, our true value can only come from the one who created us–body and soul.

Perhaps I’m not the “worthy” queen of Instagram. But that’s okay, I don’t have to be. We don’t have to pretend to be perfect and holy, because Jesus values us enough to make us holy through His death on the cross.

Jesus paid it all, and that’s worth more than anything this world has to offer.

But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. (Isaiah 43:1 NIV)


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How to Survive Politics as a Christian Woman

One Hot Mess

Last week for one of my classes, I underwent a media deprivation experiment. The goal was no TV, Internet, or news media (except for what was necessary), for four days. When the experiment was over, I realized something profound about today’s American culture.

We are a hot mess politically, and it’s driving us crazy.

It seems that in modern day society, if you’re not following the crowd on certain political stances or ideologies, then there’s something wrong with you. Just look at the Golden Globes and the Grammy Awards from this year. Everyone’s making a statement–to the point where it’s no longer about movies or music at all.

Now I’m not writing this to tell you what to believe, lovely reader. You can decide for yourself. And I’m certainly not suggesting that we stay silent on important political issues. On the contrary, Christians should be outspoken on issues such as abortion, sexual assault, and racism.

So how can Christian women find balance in this secular political climate? Here are 3 points to consider.

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Find the “Why” 

Everyone believes in something. And as Christian women, we believe that Jesus Christ is God and has died for our sins to save us from hell. He came as a man to usher in the greatest rescue mission the world has ever seen, so we can have eternal life with Him!

This should be our core foundation when we ask ourselves why we stand for a certain political party or ideology.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. (Revelation 3:15-16 NIV)

There are a lot of people who are “rebelling” against traditional values…to the point where they are becoming conformists! Most people are lukewarm about their beliefs because they are afraid of stirring the pot. But that’s not how Christians should be. It’s one thing to think critically on certain issues, however, our values must always be clear.

Another reason to know the why behind your beliefs is so that you can defend them.  If I say I’m pro-life but do not have any reason for it, then no one will care. Our why should be spiritual, as well as logical. Our beliefs about this world should reflect our belief in the hope of Jesus Christ.

Our beliefs should reflect the hope of Christ.

Be Kind

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15 NIV)

Although we must understand the reason for our beliefs and be able to defend them, we must do so with kindness. This world is full of division and hatred, even among Christians. However, we are called to gentleness and maturity in our conduct.

We must realize that no political party or ideology is perfect. We are human beings, so we tend to mess things up…a lot. Whether you are a Republican or Democrat, or something in between, please don’t fall into political idolatry.

It isn’t wise to enter a conversation with people of different political beliefs to try to change their minds (it doesn’t work anyway). Seek to understand them and their background. Ask God to help you empathize with them as you politely state your views. This will glorify God.

Seek Godly Wisdom

The Internet and cable news is filled to the brim with information trying to sway our beliefs. How on earth do we make a wise decision?

 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5 NIV)

What an amazing gift! I think we tend to forget that God is our Father, and that we can climb into His lap and ask for His love and wisdom. Don’t put God into a box. He will guide you in all areas of life, including political beliefs.

One of the best ways to find wisdom is by reading the Bible. Scripture is full of wisdom on how to live a Godly life. Don’t know where to start? Try the book of Proverbs. Even if you read one chapter a day, in just a month you will gain a lot of Godly wisdom.

This world is full of ideas and beliefs–many of which are totally against God. Although we might not be able to disconnect from all media and news, we can find balance in politics. A woman of faith must walk in values, kindness, and Godly wisdom. If you strive for this, then you will not only survive politics, you’ll thrive.


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Life Update + Liebster Award

Hello lovely readers and followers! I know it’s been a while since I posted, but life has been…life. There are twists and turns that take you up and down in ways that you can never imagine. Although a lot of these twists and turns have been challenges, I can see the growth and blessings behind every single one of them.

As many of you know, I am recovering from a broken elbow. This has made writing difficult, but not impossible. A few weeks ago I also lost my beloved cat, Lunabelle.  I have never felt such pain before, and I know my family has experienced a lot of loss lately. Despite everything, God has shown His faithfulness to me. And I want to celebrate that in this post.

Two amazing bloggers have nominated me for the Liebster award. Both Courtney and Lea are young women who are passionate about Jesus and writing. Please check them out when you have time!

I have modified the rules a little bit in order to make this post easier on my arm, and I decided to take my 5 favorite questions from each blogger.  Since I know so many blogs who have gotten Liebster awards, I will not nominate 11. If you would like to participate, please feel free to nominate yourself and tag me in your post!

The rules for the Liebster Award are:

1. Acknowledge the blog that gave it to you and display the award
2. Answer the 11 questions that the blogger gives you
3. Give 11 random facts about yourself
4. Nominate 11 blogs and notify them of their nomination
5. Give these blogs 11 questions to answer.

My Questions

Lea’s Questions

1. What is your favorite animal?

I’m a huge animal lover, but I would have to say that cats are my favorite. I’m just a crazy cat lady. Lunabelle was my first cat, and I’m so grateful God gave her to me. 

My cat Lunabelle

 

2. Favorite thing about blogging?

My favorite aspect of blogging is interacting with the readers. Your comments mean the world to me. I love to see God moving through the words that I write. It gives me so much joy.

3. Share something you love about yourself.

I love how I’m a caring person who has great empathy for others. It can be hard, as it makes me more sensitive. But I know that it is a strength.

4. Share a vision you have for your future you.

In the future, I see myself publishing a novel. I also hope to see myself getting married and having many adventures with Jesus.

5. Tell me 3 things you are grateful for.

I am grateful for God’s grace, my family and loved ones, and books!

Courtney’s Questions

1. What are your Christmas traditions?

I know the holidays are over, but I thought this was a fun question. I love putting up the Christmas tree with my brother and sister-in-law and hiding the pickle ornament. It’s a German tradition that came from my Grandma Jean, who passed away last year. The one who finds the pickle first gets to open up their present first.

2. What are your New Year’s Resolutions?

My New Year’s resolutions are to write daily (I’m slowly getting there LOL) and to find hope in each day.

3. What was the last movie you saw?

I honestly can’t remember. I don’t watch a lot of movies. But I did watch the Twilight Zone TV series recently and found it pretty interesting!

4. What was your best moment from 2017?

I suppose one of my best moments was falling in love… and not just with my boyfriend. I think I fell more in love with my friends, family, and God this year than ever before.

5. What was one of your most difficult challenges in 2017?

The challenge from 2017 that I’m still struggling with is losing Luna. Learning to trust God while recovering from my injury has also been a struggle, but a huge blessing.

I Nominate

Nikki

Melinda

Desiree

Melanie

Grvya

Tianna

Questions for My Nominees

  1. Why is writing/blogging so important to you?
  2. Do you have any pets? If not, would you want to adopt a pet?
  3. What is one band or musician who you are obsessed with?
  4. How do you feel about New Year’s resolutions?
  5. Do you journal?
  6. Name something you are passionate about.
  7. What is the last book you’ve read?
  8. Who in your life has been an encouragement to you lately?
  9. What is your favorite way to practice self-care?
  10. Where have you traveled? If you don’t travel much (like me), where would you like to go?
  11. How do you feel about winter?

Here you go! I’m excited to read all of your responses. I pray that everyone reading this has a blessed and healthy New Year.


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What 2017 Taught Me About Hope

This blog post is co-authored by my boyfriend, Owen Wolf.

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A Year of Hope

2017 is coming to an end. Another year filled to the brim with memories that are already fading away as 2018 looms ahead with unwritten adventures.

This year has been a crazy one for me. I was heavily involved in my church and finished my last year at community college. Eventually, I decided to take a break from being a youth leader as I started my senior year of college. Not only that, but I’m also in a relationship (as you can clearly see)!

One theme of 2017 that Owen and I have clearly seen in our lives is Hope. Owen had lost hope while focusing on the temporal. He did not want to think about the road ahead.

However, I struggled to grip onto the anchor of hope in a different way. Anxiety paralyzed me as I tried to gaze into something not meant to be seen. I was trying to control my future, to set in stone what is really shifting sand.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the past or try to grasp for control of the future. But both ways of thinking can cause us to lose hope. As we have grown, Owen and I now see the importance of standing on the solid rock that is Jesus Christ.

 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. (John 10:29 NIV)

Our salvation is secured in Jesus. We don’t have to worry about our past or future with God. He washes all of the old things away, and He makes all things new.

An Eternal Perspective

We need to start acting in the present while having a more eternal perspective. The Bible tells us to think about today and not worry about tomorrow, but it also tells us to focus on the Kingdom of God.

Eternity is not just some concept from the far away future; it is a reality for the past, present, and future. Eternity is in this very moment. We are eternal souls in temporary bodies.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:33-34 NIV)

What 2017 Taught Me About Hope

My challenge for you today is to look back on 2017. What do you remember? Chances are, you only remember the highlight reels of the good and bad times.

When Owen and I tried looking back on the past two years, we found that we could hardly remember anything!

The point is to remember that this life is fleeting. It is good to live life to the fullest and be present, and to plan for the years you may have left. However, it is even more important to have an eternal perspective. Ask God what that looks like for you, and what legacy He wants you to leave.

We can hold on to hope, knowing that God is with us every step of the way and that He is ultimately in control of our lives. He has great plans for us, and 2018 is only just the beginning.

Happy New Year, lovely one! I hope you have a fabulous and blessed 2018.


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

Connect with me on Instagram @fearfullywonderfullyme

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