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Cherished Blog Fest: How an iPod Shaped My Life


I guess I’d have to say that my most cherished possession (other than my Bible) would be the one I lose the most: my 5th generation iPod Nano in cobalt blue. I got it the summer before 9th grade in 2009, and I can feel the nostalgia as I write this. Even though I’ve lost it more times than I can count, it somehow never fails to find me. I would lie awake at night dreaming of celebrity crushes  while listening to Jewel or Norah Jones.

During the summer my grandma had open heart surgery and my first love left me, I remember listening to “Colorblind” by Counting Crows and “The Freshmen” by The Verve Pipe until my tear-filled eyes sunk into dreams. I was so lost, but then again most people are in high school. 

Third Eye Blind was a late night discovery I made while listening to the iPod’s radio sometime after midnight. I replayed the song “How’s it Gonna Be” as many times as it would let me as I lay on my grandma’s old couch, watching her cat catch a spider on the floor. I was almost a sophomore and self-conscious about everything. 

Radiohead got me through my angst. I can still smell all the hair gel and feel the dark eyeshadow caked on my lids. I discovered Incubus during one of the roughest periods of my adolescence. They helped me through my first breakup, giving me a channel to vent my pain.

I remember tuning the radio on that little device to my favorite alternative rock station. I was (and still am) a station hopper. I stayed up all night sometimes, either in a panic or crying, not realizing that I was clinically depressed. Desperate, I looked for consolation by way of radio signals.

Somehow God ended up signaling me one night during late high school. While all the other stations were on commercial break, the local Christian alternative station was playing some melancholy ballad. I don’t remember the lyrics or the name, but I remember thinking, “isn’t this what Bible nerds listen to?” I’d always believed in God, but I never knew Him. But somehow I felt hope when I listened to that song.

This was the hope that led me to church. This hope, flowing from the ear buds of an old iPod, led me to Jesus. That iPod has been through everything, the bad times and the good. From jamming with my friends or cleaning my room, it’s still there in the background.

Now I’m in my twenties and still a bit unsure of myself. Though no longer lost, I still find myself wandering though life with curiosity and confusion. That’s okay–my iPod is still sitting on my bedside table, ready to help me navigate the challenges and celebrations of this decade.

Sometimes I still find myself late at night, forgetting my phone and reaching for my iPod to tune the radio. I scroll through the stations and always pause at the Christian ones. There are no longer tears in my eyes as I wait to hear that song again–the one that led me to hope. 

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment and share 🙂


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  • annwritesthings

    You know, My ipod shuffle was like that, I always had it or my radio or a CD turned after I seperated from my ex-husband. Music was my source of comfort and healing, and it is still my source of inspiration today. Here’s to music lovers around the world! God bless you.

  • miladyronel

    Great post. Music has such an influence on all of us – a song can hold so many memories and the emotions tied to it. Perhaps that’s why certain artists always make it onto my writing playlist? Mm… Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      You’re welcome! Thank you for commenting. I know that Coldplay and Bethel Music always play when I’m writing!

  • Paul

    What a nice memory. Interestingly enough, this is the first Cherished post I’ve read that mentioned music, which is funny, considering what an impact it makes on many of us. I can see why that iPod is special to you. “How’s It Gonna Be” is a great song — that first TEB album is a favorite of mine. Good post!

  • beckielindsey

    Music is so powerful! Like you, God has used music to draw me to Himself. And why wouldn’t He? He’s the creator of music.
    “For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.
    He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
    Zephaniah 3:17

    By the way, I’m a Radiohead fan too 🙂
    Beckie from Spotlight,

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      Awesome! I do believe music is one of God’s greatest gifts to us. Thanks for sharing 😊 God bless you!

  • pathbreakingwriter

    I really felt so connected to your post, maybe because I am a music lover myself. I always have tons of songs on my smartphone. I love the song Big Yellow Taxi by Counting Crows. Is it the same band you’re talking about? I love Whitney Houston, Eric Clapton, Destiny’s Child, Beyonce, Ronald Keating, Eminem…the list never ends. Basically, good songs that have lot of repeat value, you know what I mean. I also visit the church during Christmas mass because I love to hear people sing Silent Night Holy Night. It is magical especially on a Christmas night.

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      Thanks for reading! I’m glad you felt the connection. Yes, that’s exactly the band I’m talking about. They’re great. Music is very spiritual, and that is one of my favorite Christmas songs as well. Oh God by Citizens is another magical song if you are looking for one 🙂

  • Dan Antion

    Music is such a comfort in our lives. It may be different music for each of us, but most of us find peace as we listen. I’m glad you keep finding your iPod and I’m very glad you shared your story with us.

    Dan – cohost – #CBF16

  • dkatiepowellart

    So glad that iPod took you where you needed to go. I am a firm believer in being guided through mysteries. I loved the way you started as a young woman, confused, teen, angst, and then into crisis — of some sort — and through radio hopping to find a spiritual path. _/\_ Sweet post! (I will be posting this weekend to — I am one of the hosts!)

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      Awesome, can’t wait to read it! Thanks for the comment 🙂 It seems like I had to get lost before I was found. God works in mysterious ways for sure. Thanks for stopping by 💕

  • sharonhughson

    Music – the words of the soul. Thanks for sharing part of your journey.
    As someone who once suffered from undiagnosed and untreated depression, I hope you’ve found medical help for the condition. For years I thought it made me “less” of a Christian to admit I was depressed. Until the doctor explained how my brain was misfiring because it lacked certain chemicals. Treatment has made all the difference for me.
    God bless.

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      Oh yes! I’ve been in therapy for quite a while now and am doing so much better thanks to God’s grace. Thank you for reading and sharing about your struggle. I’m so glad you have found help and hope as well! ❤

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