Fearfully Wonderfully Me

Growing in God and Inspiring Young Women Through Faith and Fashion

Once Was Enough

My hands cramp up as I

Knit stitch after stitch,

Trying to form the perfect tapestry

Out of an imperfect heart.

It never ends

This cloak of guilt.

Day after day I punch the sky,

Trying to find a way out

A way to freedom.

 

My legs are on fire as I

Run in staggered steps,

My lungs constricted by the winter chill.

I don’t know what I’m running from,

But I can feel the weight of it

Reaching for me like a dense fog.

Day after day I collapse into its dark embrace,

Wondering if there’s a way out

A  way to deliverance.

 

Always I try

To do more good.

To beat the pressure

Of a soul that’s constantly thirsty.

 

Always I try

To fix each stitch.

To pull together

The yarns of my sin.

 

Always I try

To run a little farther.

To leave behind

My ghost stained past.

 

But the yarn is cold and metallic,

A binding chain wrapped around my wrists.

I’m running around in circles,

But getting nowhere.

 

And that’s when You lift up my face,

Reaching for my hands as my fingers

Slip through the holes in Your palms.

 

And that’s when You smile

With blood cracked skin,

Revealing the burden You’ve chosen to carry.

 

And  that’s when I set

My needles down.

The chains breaking

As the yarn of rituals unravel.

 

And that’s when my feet

Come to a stand still.

My breath coming back in waves

As I inhale the present.

 

And that’s when I see

The cross in the thicket

Of my messy life.

 

I drop to my knees knowing that

Once was enough.

 

You’ve always been enough.

 

Written by Emily Susanne at fearfullywonderfullyme.com, 2016 ©


This is actually a poem that I am working on for my creative writing class. I wanted to share it with you, lovely reader, because I know what it’s like to struggle with guilt from the past. 

Sin has a way of trapping and isolating us. Even our well-intended mistakes as Christians can make us feel separated from God.

But God is a loving Father. You don’t have to keep trying to make up for your past sins. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself for your past.

Jesus died for your sins and faults. He was mocked, beaten, scourged, humiliated, and nailed to a cross to take YOUR place.  Why did He do this? Because God loves you. He loves you so much that He would, and has, gone to the most extreme measure to set you free.

It only took one sacrifice by our God on the cross to set us free. Once was enough. Now walk in this love.

 For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy (Hebrews 10:14 NIV).


Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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12 Comments

  1. I love, love, love this girl! Thank you so much for sharing.

  2. Wine this is amazing!

  3. Beautifully written and I was able to walk through each step as I read it, really could relate to it. ❤️❤️

  4. Please tell you me you get to share this in front of your class? This is so awesome!

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      January 25, 2017 at 8:08 pm

      I actually can! We get one reading a semester. I will also be workshopping this piece as part of my portfolio! Thanks for your comment Mihaela!

  5. Wow! This is just perfect! I’ve been musing on the topic of guilt and you did justice to this! I couldn’t help sharing on my blog. More grace to you Emily! <3

  6. Amen Emily

    Thanks for making a point with your poem. I may just be an uncultured boob, but some of the poetry I see on Word press seems to never go anywhere, but just be a fancy word collection.

    On the other hand, I could see within a couple of Stanzas you were heading somewhere, which made me want to keep reading, which led me to the point you were actually making.

    Very nice!

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      January 25, 2017 at 2:32 pm

      Haha you’re right Wally! Although there are unstructured poems that are good,I prefer mine to have a rhythm that hooks you in. I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for commenting 🙂

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