Valentine’s Day–the day for couples to shower each other with gifts, chocolates, and fancy dates. And the day for single women to watch chick flicks (Princess Diaries anyone?) while eating their weight in chocolate. I’ve actually been on both sides of this holiday, and to be honest, there’s a lot more hype about Valentine’s Day than there really should be.
One of my blogger friends Courtney asked me if I was going to do a Valentine’s Day post. Truthfully, I kind of forgot about that! But it soon hit me that this kind of post is needed not only for myself, but for all single women.
A couple of nights ago I walked into a drug store and found myself trudging down the dreaded red and pink aisle full of candy and oversize stuffed bears and felt pretty depressed.
It was like I had a giant lacy red sign above my head reading “Not Good Enough” for the world to see. That whole night I felt kind of melancholy, but I just couldn’t figure out why. As I was trying to do some homework while listening to worship music, I felt so drawn to worship God that I had to put my pen down. And that’s when it hit me:
The whole day I was seeking validation from anything but the only One who can truly fulfill my deepest desires. I was searching for worth, love, and satisfaction by daydreaming of romance and candy hearts instead of finding it in my precious Jesus.
Now there’s nothing wrong with liking romance or wanting to be married one day (one of my favorite things to write is a good love story), but we have to be careful not to make idols out of these things–whether we are single, dating, or even married.
A friend recently recommended a book called Get Lost by Dannah Gresh, and I have to say that as I read through it, I found that it is one of the most refreshing books on dating and romance out there. Instead of just telling us how to nab a Godly guy (or how to avoid them like the plague), it gets to the root of why us women can become so obsessed with romance.
Gresh calls it the “Violent Craving,” and you can read more about that in her book if you want. Basically, before the fall of man, God was the only One who could fulfill the desires of man and womankind. Since sin has entered the picture, we seek validation and satisfaction in things other than God. As I read Get Lost, I found myself nodding my head in agreement to everything she wrote.
Think about it lovely reader. How many ways have you tried to seek validation in your life? Maybe it was a relationship or obsession with some cute guy. Maybe it was planning your whole wedding on Pinterest (without even having an engagement ring on your finger).
Maybe your validation doesn’t even come from romantic things. Maybe it comes from dieting and weight loss, social media likes, or clothes. Trust me, I get it. I’ve been that girl standing in the Valentine’s Day aisle of Walgreens trying not to cry. I’ve been that girl looking in the mirror trying not to feel less than adequate.
The only difference is that I’m starting to realize where my true validation lies. This is the truth that I want you to know:
God made you valid when He died for you on the cross.
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13 NIV)
There is no greater measure of love and worth than this. A Godly relationship is a great blessing to look forward to, but it can’t make you whole. Looking good is a fun hobby, but it won’t bring you true joy. All of the things the world offers us as a temporary fix only masks the true remedy we all need–Jesus.
This Valentine’s Day, whether you are single or in a relationship, I challenge you to remember where your worth and identity truly lie. I challenge you to remember that there is no one or nothing on this planet that can validate you more than Jesus Christ. His love is the kind of love we need to be chasing after.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39 NIV)
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