confidence,  eating disorder,  recovery

An Unexpected Lesson on Confidence

There I was, looking in the mirror of the thrift store fitting room as I tried on a pair of super cute jeans. I didn’t like the reflection I saw, and for some reason,  I was having a hard time getting over it.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while now, then you know that I’m in recovery from an eating disorder.  Although I have come a long way, there are still moments when I lose confidence in who I am. This was one of those times.

As I threw on my regular clothes and left the fitting room, I tried to shrug off the negative thoughts about my appearance that I knew were just lies from the enemy. And that’s when I saw her.

She was sitting on an old dusty sofa, looking at her feet. I sat down beside her, unsure of what to say. This was a woman who was “different” in terms of what society says is beautiful or worthy of attention. She was a little overweight and wearing old clothes and no makeup. But her smile and voice could melt any heart.

When I started talking to her, I realized that she had a mental disability of some kind.  I couldn’t make out her name or a lot of what she tried to say to me,  but when I complimented her long braided hair, she lit up like a  candle.

After I left the thrift store, I sat in the car for a moment to pray for the woman, who I knew was very dear to God’s heart. And that’s when it hit me–God sees that woman, and He sees me too.

Jesus loves and died for that woman, just like He did for me. If I could see the beauty and worth in a complete stranger, then that must mean that God can see the beauty and worth in me, His beloved daughter.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. (1 John 3:1 NIV

Isn’t it amazing how God uses the most unexpected people to speak into our lives? I sure hope I could bless that woman in some way because she sure was a gift to me. She reminded me that God created us all uniquely–with different strengths and weaknesses.

Once we become secured in our identity as children of God, we begin to view ourselves a whole lot differently. This world seems to be plagued by one identity crisis after another. Why? Because people don’t know Jesus and that they belong to Him.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14 NIV)

Lovely reader, the next time you feel like you’re not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough, remember that God sees you. Remember that He knows you in ways that you don’t even know yourself. And yet, despite our flaws and sins, He loves us anyway. The blood of Jesus makes us new.

I want you to remember this so that the next time you look in the mirror, you realize that you are made in God’s image, and that He calls you good (Genesis 1:27). This is the confidence that no enemy can rob you of.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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  • SuperMommyofTwins

    I love this story. It is such a great example of how a simple run in with a stranger can alter both parties’ thinking, feelings and outlook. Your encouragimg words enlightened that lady’s day, gave you revelation and insight, and prompted this post reaching many more readers! Sounds like a Godly encounter indeed!

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      Thanks so much! Yes, it’s so amazing what God can do when we pay attention and follow His lead! God bless you.

  • Nicki Edwards

    What an awesome post sister. Funny thing is I’ve gained a few pounds on the last year and lately I haven’t really liked looking at myself in the mirror. I’ve always been skinny this is the most I’ve weighed in all my life. People look at me like I’m crazy when I complain about my size. But it’s really about my self-esteem. Thanks for the reminder that it doesn’t matter how much I weigh God sees and loves me regardless. God bless you for sharing.

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      Hey Nickie! Thanks for your comment. It’s so true that even thinner people can feel self conscious (size really doesn’t matter). Our vision of ourselves is often distorted, but God sees us as fearfully and wonderfully made! Good bless​ you.

  • megan smidt

    Thank you for sharing this experience. I struggle with body image and have broken down in tears many times while shopping for clothes. We are so perfect in God’s eyes.. what a beautiful wink He gave you!! 🙂

    • fearfullywonderfullyme

      Wow Megan! Thanks so much for sharing that. I’m glad I could help in some way. God is so faithful. My pastor just said tonight that we often see ourselves in a distorted way. God bless you!

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