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What I Really Learned About Modesty

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Hello dear readers and followers! Spring is in the air, and if you read last Friday’s post, you can tell I am excited for warm weather fashion. In that post I also gave some tips on how to dress modestly. Which begs the question, what is this modesty thing all about?

I began my modesty journey last summer as I grew deeper in my Christian faith. I also wrote a blog post on the importance of modesty that you can read here. Since that time I have learned a lot about what it means to dress like a daughter of God. Some of it may surprise you, but I hope it helps and inspires you!

1. Modesty Isn’t About Preventing Lust

I think this concept baffles most Christians and is the major reason modesty isn’t taught or preached about. A lot of times we hear that the reason we should dress modestly is to protect Christian men from lust. We need to make sure to keep our chest and legs covered in order to not be a temptation.

While it is nice to think of our brothers in Christ, this isn’t really the point of modesty (I know, this shocked me too). The thing is, men are the ones who are responsible for their lust, and as this blog pointed out quite well–what is modest for one man could just as easily tempt another.

So if modesty isn’t for men, then why is it important? 

in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works (1 Timothy 2:9-10 NKJV).

I don’t see anything in this scripture about lust or sexual attraction. Actually, this seems to be Paul scolding some women for focusing on the latest and most expensive fashion trends rather than Kingdom work. The key word here is the moderation. There is nothing wrong with wearing jewelry or nice clothing, but we need to remember that there is more to life than fashion (and this is coming from a fashion blogger!).

Modesty is about not letting our clothing consume us or distract us from God. It’s about letting God’s grace and love define us rather than our appearance. I think that’s why Paul specifically wrote this to the women of that time rather than the men. We are more likely to get caught up with fashion and appearance (no matter what the time period). Again, there’s nothing wrong with looking nice and going shopping, but we have to learn moderation. This also applies to men, but this blog’s focus is on the ladies.

2. Modesty Looks Different on Everyone

We are all built differently. Some of us are taller while others are shorter. Some girls are thin while other girls are curvy. This is how God designed us, and it is beautiful! That being said, modesty will look different on all of these different body types.

For example, a pair of shorts or a skirt may cover a woman of average height quite well, but it could expose a tall woman’s body in a way she didn’t intend to! We need to dress for our bodies, and not according to the women around us. 

Modesty also looks different depending on culture. What’s modest in America is not the same as the Middle East. Culture is beautiful and to be respected. Legalistic dress codes just don’t make any sense when you take this into account.

That being said, Jesus transcends all cultures–and dressing with moderation, discretion, and dignity is to be expected of all followers of Christ. This is why we need to let the Holy Spirit to convict us and guide us when it comes to dressing modestly.

3. Modesty Makes You Feel Like a Princess

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Picture this: You’re all dolled up in a pretty dress (or nice jeans), a good jacket, and cute shoes. Doesn’t this make you feel pretty and confident? Of course it does! Sometimes all it takes to get the day rolling is getting dressed and putting on some lip gloss.

But there’s more to it than that. As a follower of Jesus Christ and a daughter of God, you are royalty. Don’t believe me?

 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9 NKJV).

Now as royalty, you can’t just walk around dressed any way you want. Take the famous Kate Middleton for example. Would she go out in booty shorts or a revealing bikini? Probably not. This is because she knows she’s royalty. Therefore she clothes herself with dignity and respect. She’s representing her kingdom and she knows it!

We can be representatives of God’s kingdom by the way we dress as well. When you get ready in the morning, put on clothes that a dignified princess would wear. Obviously you wouldn’t walk out in a ball gown, but you would dress classy and discretely (while still looking beautiful).

Remember–modesty is about humility. Our appearance should never distract us from our good works and advancing God’s Kingdom. It should enhance and complement our lives–but never overpower. If you dress with dignity, class, and grace then you will achieve a look of modesty that will inspire those around you. 

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 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God (1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV). 

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Music Videos and the Message of Modesty

When I clicked on Lauren Daigle’s music video for her new song “You Say,” I was amazed at her beautiful voice and powerful lyrics of discovering our identity in Christ. Knowing our identity as God’s daughters is a major theme of my blog, so of course this song is playing on my phone non-stop.

But that’s not the only thing I noticed about the video. Right when I clicked on it and saw Ms. Daigle’s yellow crop top, I knew she was walking a tricky tightrope.

Christians in the comments section were divided. Some said that modesty standards are too prude, and that men should learn to control their own lust. Others said that examples like this could hurt teen girls and convince believers that the Bible isn’t serious in its call for modesty.

To be honest, I find truth in all of these positions. It saddens my heart that such a beautiful song like “You Say” is overlooked by people fighting over Ms. Daigle’s outfit. However, I felt the need to write this post, as I can see that modesty is still a big issue in this culture.

Shifting Standards

Modesty is an important virtue and should not be ignored. However, we must also fight the tendency of our hearts to fall into legalistic rules regarding clothing.

Standards of modesty vary by culture. Although bearing our middles in the U.S. is what many would consider immodest, in other countries, it’s everyday fashion. And although it’s normal for women to wear jeans in many countries, it’s actually frowned upon in others.

Our standards of dress change just from time of day. For example, my office attire isn’t the same as the clothing I wear on a casual lunch date with friends. 

The point is, when we come up with all of these legalistic standards on what is modest or what is not, we fall into the trap of the enemy. The devil would rather have us busy over measuring everyone’s hemlines than on giving to charities or preaching the Gospel.

It’s easy to fall for the lie that our clothing or actions help us earn God’s grace. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Our clothing does not determine our salvation or God’s love for us. Only the sacrifice of Jesus does that.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV)

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Outward Focus

When our heart is focused on what others are doing or how they are dressed, we put ourselves at risk for judging others.

I admit that sometimes I look at the way a person is dressed and may think that it is improper and not setting a good example. However, I don’t know anything about this person and where they are in their walk with God.

When we judge others for what they wear or other things that we don’t agree with, we are the ones who ultimately lose. Instead of finding common ground and ways to connect with one another, we build walls. This isn’t what Jesus would do.

I’m not saying we can’t judge whether an action is sinful or not. If you’re in a close relationship with a sister in Christ who is clearly backsliding, you can gently shed God’s light into her life to help her repent. But that can only come from a heart that’s free of judgment against the person.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV)

Judging other Christians based on their convictions can keep us from seeing the issues in our own hearts. Perhaps instead of questioning a music artist’s clothing choice, we should examine our own wardrobe.

The Case for Modesty

So far we’ve established that modesty varies by culture and often falls victim to legalistic standards. We’ve also explored judging others based on choices like clothing, and how that can harm our witness.

That being said, there is still a case for modesty. I’ve written about the subject many times, and I fully believe what Scripture says about modesty. So let’s break it down.

in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. (1 Timothy 2:9-10 NKJV)

The key word here is moderation. Although many people think modesty is about not tempting guys, that really isn’t the point of these verses. Women in this Biblical time period were too focused on their looks and getting attention through their clothing. This is something women (and men) still struggle with today.  

True modesty means balance. We shouldn’t walk around looking like we’re from the 1800’s. However, we need to avoid clothes that are too revealing, costly, or attention getting.

Modesty is a heart issue. You can dress up head to toe in a burlap sack and still miss the point if your heart isn’t focused on Jesus. Whenever we get dressed, we should ask ourselves if this outfit reflects our identity as royal daughters of God.

Lauren Daigle’s video is a sign of the deeper need we have to connect with our identity in God. Instead of focusing on her shirt, I’m going to focus on her beautiful music and the amazing message of our worth in Christ. This is the message that truly matters.


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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Answering 3 Important Questions About Modesty

It’s almost Memorial Day weekend, which means summer is just around the corner! I can smell the pollen and fresh cut grass already (and so can my allergies). Along with warm summer weather comes summer fashion, which often leaves Christians asking questions about modesty.

Are these shorts long enough? Are tank-tops modest? And what about swimsuits!? Almost every Christian girl has asked herself these questions at some point, including myself. In fact, I’ve written about modesty a few times on this blog.

I think that many of us have questions about modesty that seldom get answered.  I want to use my experience, the Word of God, and the Holy Spirit to tackle 3 important questions about modesty.

1. What Makes Clothing Modest? 

When reading scripture on modesty, it’s only natural to have the desire to reflect that in your life. I know that when I was exploring modest fashion, I went a little crazy trying to discern what was appropriate or not.

However, I’ve learned that it’s easy to border on legalism if all we focus on is hemlines. In fact, we can become so obsessed with modesty that we lose our focus on Jesus! Instead of asking what is modest, we need to remember the why behind modesty.

Modesty is not about rules or regulations; it’s about giving Jesus the glory by taking the attention off of ourselves. 

 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. (1 Timothy 2:9-10 NKJV

This verse about modesty addresses the core issue behind why we choose to dress immodestly. We want the focus on ourselves. When we dress in revealing or flashy clothes, we are basically wearing a huge sign that says, “look at me.”

Modesty is about dressing with moderation. Instead of trying to have all the latest brands and follow every trend, we should be focused on the mission of spreading the Gospel.

That doesn’t mean we can’t focus on our looks at all or must dress like we’re from the 1800’s. That in itself would be immodest because it’s not following the concept of moderation. Modesty is about balance and turning our hearts toward Jesus as we care for our appearance. 

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Answering 3 Important Questions About Modesty

 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Colossians 3:2 NIV)

2. Is Modesty Oppressive Toward Women?

The secular argument against modest fashion is that it’s oppressive toward women. The only case that I would agree with this is when a church or organization starts imposing legalistic rules about women’s clothing.

However, this is not true Biblical modesty. We’ve already established that modesty is a heart response to giving Jesus glory with our fashion choices. This is a choice we make freely out of love. How awesome is that?

Modesty actually empowers women by allowing us to root our confidence in Jesus Christ instead of our bodies or clothes. We can focus on the more important eternal qualities, such as helping others and learning new things, when we’re not obsessing over our outward appearance.

True Biblical modesty is not about controlling or oppressing women. It’s about freeing women to celebrate the beauty God gave us inside and out.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. (1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV)

3. Is Modesty Only for Girls? 

When the topic of modest fashion comes up, it’s often addressed to girls or women. This is probably because modesty is often associated with the goal to prevent men from lusting after us.

This, however, is not the true purpose for modesty. Don’t get me wrong–I’m all for helping out our brothers in Christ. I also realize that we live in a sexually perverted culture due to sin. Therefore, it is wise to teach both our sons and daughters how to dress and act in a way that honors purity.

But we need to remember that modest fashion is about moderation and keeping the focus on Christ instead of ourselves. I know I sound like a broken record, but this really is what modesty is all about.

And this applies to guys as well. Although women commonly struggle in this area because of society’s pressures on outward appearance, there are plenty of men who dress immodestly or for attention.

Modesty is something both men and women should follow in order to honor God and each other. When we seek to love the Lord and one another over our own desires for attention, we build a culture of respect and humility.

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5 NIV)

Modesty is more than just rules and regulations. It’s empowering for women by encouraging us to root our confidence in Christ. Modesty also teaches both men and women about respect and moderation. The most beautiful truth about modesty is that it guides our hearts back to our amazing Savior. And that, lovely one, is a goal worth pursuing with our whole lives.


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

(Photography by Zack Minor and Leon Biss)

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Off-the-Shoulder Fashion Hacks

Happy Friday lovely readers and followers! I know, my fashion posts have not been consistent lately. I thought that since I’m on summer break, I would have more time to get blogging done. Well, life knows how to keep me busy. But I can’t complain because I have been able to spend some awesome time with my family and friends despite everything. I promise to make more of an effort in the future!

I think that Christian women tend to panic when the summer trends roll out. Crop tops, short-shorts, bikinis…oh my! I find that most trends can either be skipped or adapted no problem, and there’s one trend this season in particular that I want to discuss.

Off-the-Shoulder tops. 

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I know this trend may be controversial to some Christians, as shoulders are seen as immodest by some. Just to be clear, I am not judging your beliefs in modesty here. If you have different convictions than me, that’s totally cool. If you want to know more about my views on modesty, check out this post.

That being said, I think that women who like to keep things modest can totally rock an off-the-shoulder top in a classy way. These blouses are feminine and keep you cool in warmer temperatures. They also highlight a very flattering (and appropriate) part of the body on any woman. I think that floral print tops in bohemian shapes are perfect for summer. Use dashes of the color red to make a statement as you rock this trend.

Still not sure how to rock this look? See below!

Tips For Wearing Off-the-Shoulder Tops

  • Make sure to try on the blouse to make sure it isn’t too low cut. Only you know what looks best on your body.
  • Choose a top with thick straps if you need extra coverage.
  • Make sure to wear a strapless bra to keep things classy.
  • Since you are highlighting your shoulders and arms more, create balance by wearing long pants or a longer skirt.
  • Ask yourself, does this outfit make me look like a royal daughter of God? If so, then go for it!

I hope that you found these tips helpful! There is no need to fear a cute summer wardrobe. With a little adaptation and discernment, you can look cute and still glorify God.

For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. (1 Corinthians 6:20 NKJV)


Thanks for reading! What are your plans for the summer? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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Should Christians Wear Makeup?

This one goes out to all my Christian ladies who like makeup. Many of you have probably wondered at some point if it is appropriate for a Christian to wear makeup. I’ve heard many opinions–ranging from no way–to go for it!

I love makeup. I’m not super talented at applying it, but I will say that I can rock a good cat eye. Of course, I’ve wondered about God’s opinion on makeup and how it fits in a Biblical view of modesty.

Let’s turn to God’s Word, which should be the ultimate authority on the decisions we make as Christians. 

For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7NKJV).

We live in a culture that is obsessed with appearance–especially for females. We take selfies and spend our days on social media, so naturally we tend to think about our appearance. However, God isn’t so impressed. He already knows we’re beautiful because He created us–fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

What really concerns God is the state of our souls. He wants us to be in a relationship with Him above all else. Jesus never gave a sermon on makeup or fashion because He was more concerned about how we were loving Him and those around us.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God (1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV). 

I go a lot deeper on modesty in this post. The main point of this scripture is that modesty and appearance for a Christian–man or woman–should be about classiness and moderation. We shouldn’t be flashy or extreme, and we shouldn’t spend the majority of our time on our looks. It’s all about balance.

I believe this also applies to makeup. When you apply it to your face, ask yourself, am I doing this to get attention? Am I doing this because I don’t like myself? God knows our hearts and He cares about that the most. He wants His daughters to know their beauty and worth–with or without makeup.

Verse 4 (above) mentions the “hidden person of the heart.” This reminds us of God’s focus–our hearts and souls.

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Makeup isn’t bad or sinful. It’s about our motives. We need to examine ourselves and our reasons for wearing makeup. I believe makeup is for creative fun and highlighting the natural beauty God gave us.

Remember lovely, you are beautiful and loved by your Heavenly Father. Whether you wear makeup or not will never change this. Always remember your worth in Christ, and let that love radiate to all. 

That is true beauty. 


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