• The Problem with Perfectionism
    confidence,  shame

    The Problem with Perfectionism

    I was eating lunch with my mom on a beautiful Saturday afternoon when I broke down. The pressures had been building up all week–school, friends, family, writing. Even everyday things or my own thoughts made me feel like I was about to crack. No matter what, I couldn’t shake the thought out of my head that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t talented, smart, or pretty enough. I place so many unrealistic expectations on myself that I would never put on anyone else. It’s what fueled my struggle with an eating disorder when I was younger. But I know I’m not alone in this struggle, lovely one. The problem is…

  • the truth about shame
    Jesus,  shame

    The Truth About Shame

    I have a confession to make. I am twenty-three years old, and am just learning how to drive. It’s a huge victory in my battle with a┬áchronic illness that prevented me from driving. But it’s also a struggle. Learning to drive isn’t easy–at least not for me (and not for the poor souls who help me practice). And to be honest, it makes me anxious. Though I am getting better with every lesson, I still feel a terrible, self-defeating feeling that shrouds me in darkness. I’m talking about shame. The Poison of Shame Merriam-Webster defines shame as “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.” This feeling,…