Fearfully Wonderfully Me

Growing in God and Inspiring Young Women Through Faith and Fashion

Category: Single life

Finding Jesus in a Breakup

I still remember the pain of ending that relationship three years ago. We weren’t right for each other, and though I tried to deny it, I had known it deep within my heart for awhile.

The next several months following that breakup were filled with conflicting emotions. Although I had peace about my decision, I still thought about what could have been. I cried and got angry. I grieved, and then I moved on.

There’s no magic formula for grieving a breakup, however, there are lessons we can learn to better our future. We can choose to let the loss defeat us, or make us stronger. And ultimately, I think that’s what God wants for our lives.

Finding Meaning in a Breakup 

After ending that relationship, I remember walking outside in the snow and staring up at the dull gray sky. I kept asking God, why? The answer I got almost took my breath away, and it surely made me smile.

God said, “Because I am jealous for you.”

That’s the thing about walking with Jesus. You’re either all in or all out. He doesn’t want half-devoted followers who will most likely compromise their faith.

That past relationship kept me from blooming into the Christian I was supposed to be. It wasn’t anyone’s fault; it was just not meant to be.

Be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that he made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything the Lord your God has forbidden. For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. (Deuteronomy 4: 23-24 NIV)

God isn’t jealous for us in a selfish, human way. If that were true, then no one would be able to be in a relationship or get married!

However, God does want our relationships to reflect His love for us and to ultimately lead us closer to Him. When a relationship is built on this firm foundation, love can truly grow and flourish.

Finding Identity in a Breakup 

My first breakup happened in high school. I got dumped.

You can never understand the haunting pain of that rejection until it happens to you. I felt so unlovable and worthless, but Satan wanted me to believe these lies so I would never discover the truth.

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. (Jeremiah 31:3 NIV)

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. (Psalm 27:10 NIV)

Dear lovely one, if you are suffering the pain of rejection, please know that you are loved and chosen by God.

Although there will always be people in this life who reject us, our Heavenly Father never will. God sent His Son to die for our sins and prove His radical love for us.

Although going through a breakup is painful, it leads us to the most powerful truth in existence. God can use rejection to point us to the One who will always love us. Jesus is our eternal bridegroom, and He is wild about us.

It doesn’t matter if you have an awesome love life or have failed at relationships. If you aren’t confident of your identity in Christ, you have nothing to stand on in a relationship.

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Finding Jesus in a Breakup

Finding Hope in a Breakup

When I look back on the heartbreaks I’ve endured, I know it was worth it. I’ve grown as a person, and as a daughter of God. I also see how the Lord graciously protected me from harm by letting me experience heartbreak.

Every single trial leads us closer to victory. But we must choose to hold on and weather the storm.

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5 NIV)

Right now I am so blessed to be engaged to the love of my life. Was the wait difficult? Yes. Was it worth it? A thousand times yes.

But I know I wouldn’t have met the one God prepared for me unless I pressed on and bloomed into the woman I am today.

Breakups are painful, but they are not the end of your story. If you allow Jesus to walk you through your pain, you will find meaning, identity, and a love that’s eternal.


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The True Strength of Christian Friendships (Guest Post)

Hello lovely readers and followers! This week  I wrote a guest post on friendship for M Words and the Christian Woman, a lovely blog I contribute too. Below is a preview and link to the post. Please read and share! 


“We’ve bought into the enemy’s lie that we can’t live a fulfilling life without a man. And because of this, we forget the sisterhood God gave us.”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married or in a relationship. Those are healthy and wonderful desires that God honors for many. But we don’t even realize that it takes a healthy spiritual life and strong friendships in order to build our character for a serious relationship.”

Christian friendship

Read the rest of this post here

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Valentine’s Day Validation

Valentine’s Day–the day for couples to shower each other with gifts, chocolates, and fancy dates. And the day for single women to watch chick flicks (Princess Diaries anyone?) while eating their weight in chocolate.  I’ve actually been on both sides of this holiday, and to be honest, there’s a lot more hype about Valentine’s Day than there really should be.

One of my blogger friends Courtney asked me if I was going to do a Valentine’s Day post. Truthfully, I kind of forgot about that! But it soon hit me that this kind of post is needed not only for myself, but for all single women.

A couple of nights ago I walked into a drug store and found myself trudging down the dreaded red and pink aisle full of candy and oversize stuffed bears and felt pretty depressed.

It was like I had a giant lacy red sign above my head reading “Not Good Enough” for the world to see. That whole night I felt kind of melancholy, but I just couldn’t figure out why. As I was trying to do some homework while listening to worship music, I felt so drawn to worship God that I had to put my pen down.  And that’s when it hit me:

The whole day I was seeking validation from anything but the only One who can truly fulfill my deepest desires. I was searching for worth, love, and satisfaction by daydreaming of romance and candy hearts instead of finding it in my precious Jesus.

Now there’s nothing wrong with liking romance or wanting to be married one day (one of my favorite things to write is a good love story), but we have to be careful not to make idols out of these things–whether we are single, dating, or even married.

A friend recently recommended a book called Get Lost by Dannah Gresh, and I have to say that as I read through it, I found that it is one of the most refreshing books on dating and romance out there. Instead of just telling us how to nab a Godly guy (or how to avoid them like the plague), it gets to the root of why us women can become so obsessed with romance.

Gresh calls it the “Violent Craving,” and you can read more about that in her book if you want. Basically, before the fall of man, God was the only One who could fulfill the desires of man and womankind. Since sin has entered the picture, we seek validation and satisfaction in things other than God. As I read Get Lost, I found myself nodding my head in agreement to everything she wrote.

Think about it lovely reader. How many ways have you tried to seek validation in your life? Maybe it was a relationship or obsession with some cute guy. Maybe it was planning your whole wedding on Pinterest (without even having an engagement ring on your finger).

Maybe your validation doesn’t even come from romantic things. Maybe it comes from dieting and weight loss, social media likes, or clothes. Trust me, I get it. I’ve been that girl standing in the Valentine’s Day aisle of Walgreens trying not to cry. I’ve been that girl looking in the mirror trying not to feel less than adequate.

The only difference is that I’m starting to realize where my true validation lies. This is the truth that I want you to know:

God made you valid when He died for you on the cross.

 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13 NIV)

There is no greater measure of love and worth than this. A Godly relationship is a great blessing to look forward to, but it can’t make you whole. Looking good is a fun hobby, but it won’t bring you true joy. All of the things the world offers us as a temporary fix only masks the true remedy we all need–Jesus.

This Valentine’s Day, whether you are single or in a relationship, I challenge you to remember where your worth and identity truly lie. I challenge you to remember that there is no one or nothing on this planet that can validate you more than Jesus Christ. His love is the kind of love we need to be chasing after.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39 NIV)


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The Single Life~Day 3 of The 30 Day Blog Challenge

Hello lovely readers and followers! Welcome back to Day 3 of the 30 Day Blog Challenge. 

Today’s Topic: Describe Being Single


Well, I’ve already written a guest post on being a single Christian lady, but I didn’t really share my personal experience. I guess that’s because writing about love and relationships is a very personal and sensitive topic to approach.

I’ve dated before. I had a couple of relationships in high school that ended badly, and one at the beginning of college that wasn’t what God wanted for me. Right now I am single, and I would say that I am pretty content–most of the time. There are definitely moments I wish I was in a relationship, especially during holidays and family gatherings. But most of the time I’m so busy with school, writing, and church, that I hardly notice it.

I guess one of the biggest worries for a single Christian woman is if they will remain that way forever (assuming they want to be married one day). I do want to be married one day, but I’m quite young to be worried about timing I guess. I know I just need to trust that God is a good Father with good plans for my life. He knows what I need, and He knows what you need. We just have to wait on His timing.

I guess the plan for my single years is to glorify God as much as I can, growing in my faith and having a blast while doing it. I am working on building friendships with other Christians and discovering the talents and gifts God has instilled in me. Of course, it’s a rocky road being a twenty-something girl with no clue what the future holds. But isn’t that in itself kind of romantic and inspiring?

Life is an adventure, and I want to make the most of it–even the challenging parts. God can use a single person just as much as He can a married person, if not more (Hello Jesus and Paul!). So I guess this is my prime time to help make an impact on the world around me.

Yes, I am single–but that’s okay! Even though I sometimes wonder about my mysterious future husband, I am happy. Yup, that’s right. I am happy–right here and right now. My joy is Christ, and He has blessed me beyond belief.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33 NIV).


Thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment and share. 

Make sure to check out Courtney at 1Timothy4:12Girl as she partners with me in this challenge! I’ll be back tomorrow with Day 4 of the challenge 🙂

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