Fearfully Wonderfully Me

Growing in God and Inspiring Young Women Through Faith and Fashion

Tag: depression (page 1 of 6)

The Promise of His Presence

Why is it that you can seem to have everything, and yet feel so empty and alone?

This world promises us happiness and fulfillment in so many ways: money, relationships, jobs, new experiences–the list goes on.

The Hollow Promise 

But what happens when that’s not enough? What about that hollow feeling? The one tugging at you, making you work until your knuckles bleed, so you can forget that it’s there.

The hollowness that leaks out as tears as you lie awake in bed at night. The hollow feeling that makes people cut, starve, and lash out at others?

This post isn’t pretty, but it’s real and raw. Because I’ve been there.

I know what it’s like to have people around you, even loving you, and still feel lonely. I know the dread of falling asleep, only to wake up to another day of pretending that everything is okay.

But I also know of the only thing that can fill this void–this hollow promise of the world around me.

His name is Jesus. 

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6 NIV)

Made for More

When I look to myself or anything else to fulfill me, I always come up empty. The glow of clothing and makeup fades after a few days. Confidence in my own performance is never a guarantee.

It’s not that I don’t take joy in things outside of God. On the contrary, we weren’t made to live outside of God. 

I love my life. I love my home, my work, and my husband. But none of these things–not even marriage–can take the place of God.

We were made for more than what we can see in front of us. That hollow feeling points us to our need for the Great I Am.

A Love That Never Leaves 

Jesus promised that He would never leave us as orphans. Though everyone else may reject or misunderstand us, our Lord gives us His Holy Spirit to comfort us and make us His sons and daughters.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. (John 14: 18-19 NIV

There is no friendship as beautiful as the one we can have with Jesus. He hears every prayer and sees every tear.

He is the most faithful husband. For better or worse, Jesus isn’t going anywhere. When we repent of our sins, the Lord forgives and forgets them. He has also purposefully forgotten how to leave us.

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The Promise of His Presence

God’s love is that strong. His love is that unbreakable.

Lovely one, this post may not have started off pretty, but my prayer is that it filled you with hope.

The promise of the presence of God is the greatest joy we can ever attain. It is the only joy that nothing in this world can ever take away.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

Will you choose the promise of Jesus today? 

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When It Feels Like Your Life Has No Direction

I remember sitting in the library of my local community college. I was trying to figure out what career I wanted to pursue, and how to go about life while facing a chronic illness.

Any young adult can relate to the pressures of this world. It’s like as soon as you turn 18, you need to have everything all figured out.

College majors, jobs, dating, and relationships. There’s just so much to figure out, and sometimes it feels like you’re the only one without a clue of what to do–the only one without direction.

When you feel like your life has no direction, this is actually an opportunity for God to reveal His purpose in incredible ways.

A Godly Perspective

God is omniscient, which means He knows everything. He has an eternal perspective that our human minds can’t comprehend.

Although we may feel lost or confused in this life, nothing about our lives ever takes Jesus by surprise.

I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ (Isaiah 46:10 NIV)

Sometimes we face challenges or disappointments that rattle our faith. Whenever we face life’s hurdles, we have two choices:

We can choose to reject God and trust in ourselves (or give up), or we can cling to the promise that His ways are higher than ours.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV)

God’s plans may be different from ours, but that’s a good thing! My life looks drastically different than I thought it would 3 years ago, and I’m so thankful for that now.

Surrendering to Purpose 

Trusting in God and clinging to His promises starts with surrender. Often times we want our lives to go a certain way, and when there’s a plot twist, we feel lost. Other times, we just don’t know what it is God’s calling us to do.

There’s beauty in not knowing. This is where our faith can truly flourish. When God derails our plans, it’s always because His purpose is greater.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)

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When It Feels Like Your Life Has No Direction

Although it may seem like we are walking in darkness, God is leading us down a path that develops faith, character, and promise.

When it suddenly feels like you’ve lost all direction, this is the perfect opportunity to say “I trust You Lord,” and surrender your future to the one who is always faithful.

A Present Direction

So we know that Jesus is good, and that we can surrender our lives to him in full trust. But what action can we take to better our lives in the waiting?

As a recent college graduate, I know all too well the haunting uncertainties of the future. What will my career be? How will I take care of myself financially?

Worrying about the future doesn’t do anything but make us feel stressed and worn out. I recently received a wise word that has helped me through this season of uncertainty.

Live in the present moment.

Although this might sound like a hippie slogan, it’s actually Biblical.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:33-34 NIV)

God has everything all figured out, and when we surrender our lives to Him, His plans will always come to pass.

We find joy every day while focusing on the Lord and the small ministries he places before us. When we worry over our lives, we miss out on the opportunity to love others and build God’s Kingdom.

When you live a life that’s fully surrendered to God and His daily provision, there is a peace and joy that goes beyond all understanding.

Maybe we got it all wrong. Perhaps a life with an earthly direction isn’t as important as we thought. Maybe our plans are just a distraction from the true purpose God has given us.

A woman who is dedicated to Jesus has a life of purpose and direction. When we look to the Kingdom instead of this world, we find all that we are truly looking for.


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

(Images from Unsplash)

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What Failure Taught Me About Surrender

Ever have one of those days when your thoughts seem to be haunting you? Lately, those days have been frequent for me.

I feel as though God has been working on me about confidence and my identity in Christ, but my own mind likes to self-sabotage.

Life is changing rapidly for me, as I am finishing college and will be getting a real “adult” job. The class and internship work is piling up, and now I know what my friends meant by the term senioritis.

All of this is a recipe for stress and opportunity, and that also means failure.

And I hate failing. I really hate failing.

As a perfectionist, I struggle with anxiety and self-esteem issues. But I know I’m not alone. There are so many people out there who struggle with anxiety and depression.

As I’ve been praying to God about all of this, there is one word He has laid on my heart.

Surrender.

Surrender is the key to freedom, and it is also transforming. If you’re struggling with negative or haunting thoughts, then I urge you to keep reading about what surrender has taught me.

Surrendering Our Broken Pieces

I’ve been a serious Christian for a few years now, and I always thought that surrender just meant giving all of my plans and dreams to the Lord–to let Him have control of my future.

But surrender is so much more than that.

Yes, we should surrender our plans and our desires to the Lord. His plans are better than anything we could ever dream of. And when we trust in God, He will lead us on the most amazing journey ever.

But there’s a lot more to surrender than just giving up the good parts of our lives.

Pain, shame, sin, and fear. These are the things the enemy wants us to hold onto. This is how the devil keeps us in bondage.

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4-5 NIV)

When Jesus took up the cross and died for our sins, He also bore all of our shame and pain. All of the things that haunt us and hold us back from a great life are things He died to free us from.

Christ died to nail our broken pieces to the cross. And He left an empty grave behind in order to fill the emptiness in our lives.

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Christ fills our emptiness image

The Transformation of Surrender

When we get stuck in our pain or fears, then we get wrapped up in ourselves. We start to feel bad about our lives, and then an evil menace seeps into our hearts.

Pride.

I know that when I have a bad day and think of all the mistakes I’ve made, I miss out on opportunities to do good things for others.

When we get too wrapped up in ourselves, then we cannot fully serve the Lord. It’s the enemy’s trap, but we have the keys to freedom.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

When we choose to follow Christ, we become new creations! We can surrender our pain and mistakes and choose to live a new life with God.

None of us are perfect, and that is why Jesus died for us. This is what Easter is all about. The blood of Jesus covers us, and His grace is bigger than any of our mistakes.

Each new day with God is a fresh start, and we can always choose to move forward in victory.

But it all starts with surrender.


Thanks for reading! I hope you have a blessed Good Friday and Easter. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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NEDA Week and the Call of the Gospel

For those of you who don’t know, February 26-March 4 is NEDA week. NEDA week is about raising awareness for different types of eating disorders and encouraging recovery. It’s about ending the stigma and shame associated with this branch of mental illness.

It’s about saving the lives of women and young girls, who die physically and spiritually from this disease every year.

NEDA Meets Jesus

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, then you may know that I have struggled with an eating disorder.

Mine was not the type that anyone noticed. I did not stop eating or puke, and I have always been naturally thin. However, due to a mix of low self-esteem, anxiety, and health issues affecting my digestive system, I had a very negative view of eating.

Two years ago I made the life-changing choice of recovery. I knew that I couldn’t serve both God and an eating disorder, so with the help of the Lord, online support groups, and a close friend, I started getting better.

I thought that I would never win this mental battle, and truthfully, the devil still haunts my mind with self-defeating thoughts. But everyday I’m getting stronger. The victory is God’s.

This is one of the reasons why I care so much about encouraging other young women. The Bible says we are to lift each other up, creating a ripple effect of impact on those around us.

Becoming an Example

Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. (Titus 2:3 NLT)

As women of God, we have been commanded to teach younger women how to lead God-honoring lives. We are supposed to be an example to those who don’t know Jesus or who are new to the faith.

That doesn’t mean we won’t make mistakes or struggle with sin. I know I am definitely not perfect. But we should be humble enough to admit our mistakes and learn from them. We should take what we’ve learned and teach younger women and girls.

One of the reasons I chose recovery is because I knew Christian women who were more mature in their faith. They poured into my life and guided me to the right path. They helped me learn my identity in Christ.

Answering the Call

Today there are girls in elementary school who diet and hate the way they look. They are turning to their phones and social media for validation. They idolize celebrities for their self worth.

These girls and teens are the enemy’s main target for mental illnesses such as eating disorders and depression.

While campaigns such as NEDA week are helpful and needed, the true cure for eating disorders is Jesus.

NEDA week and the call of the Gospel

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Only the power of Jesus can take away our fear of food. Only the salvation of Jesus can redeem our broken past. And only the love of Jesus can teach us how to love ourselves.

Lovely one, you are more valuable in the eyes of God than you will ever know. He wants you to root your identity in Him and be set free. He wants you to be a light for the next generation.

Young women and girls everywhere need our help. Will you rise up to answer the call?

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, (Isaiah 61:1 NIV)

If you or a loved one is struggling with an eating disorder, there is help! Please check out these links or contact me for additional information.

www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline (call or text support line)

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-treatment/treatment-and-support-groups (Find treatment)

Want a relationship with Jesus? Click here!


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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Connect with me on Instagram @fearfullywonderfullyme

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What 2017 Taught Me About Hope

This blog post is co-authored by my boyfriend, Owen Wolf.

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A Year of Hope

2017 is coming to an end. Another year filled to the brim with memories that are already fading away as 2018 looms ahead with unwritten adventures.

This year has been a crazy one for me. I was heavily involved in my church and finished my last year at community college. Eventually, I decided to take a break from being a youth leader as I started my senior year of college. Not only that, but I’m also in a relationship (as you can clearly see)!

One theme of 2017 that Owen and I have clearly seen in our lives is Hope. Owen had lost hope while focusing on the temporal. He did not want to think about the road ahead.

However, I struggled to grip onto the anchor of hope in a different way. Anxiety paralyzed me as I tried to gaze into something not meant to be seen. I was trying to control my future, to set in stone what is really shifting sand.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the past or try to grasp for control of the future. But both ways of thinking can cause us to lose hope. As we have grown, Owen and I now see the importance of standing on the solid rock that is Jesus Christ.

 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. (John 10:29 NIV)

Our salvation is secured in Jesus. We don’t have to worry about our past or future with God. He washes all of the old things away, and He makes all things new.

An Eternal Perspective

We need to start acting in the present while having a more eternal perspective. The Bible tells us to think about today and not worry about tomorrow, but it also tells us to focus on the Kingdom of God.

Eternity is not just some concept from the far away future; it is a reality for the past, present, and future. Eternity is in this very moment. We are eternal souls in temporary bodies.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:33-34 NIV)

What 2017 Taught Me About Hope

My challenge for you today is to look back on 2017. What do you remember? Chances are, you only remember the highlight reels of the good and bad times.

When Owen and I tried looking back on the past two years, we found that we could hardly remember anything!

The point is to remember that this life is fleeting. It is good to live life to the fullest and be present, and to plan for the years you may have left. However, it is even more important to have an eternal perspective. Ask God what that looks like for you, and what legacy He wants you to leave.

We can hold on to hope, knowing that God is with us every step of the way and that He is ultimately in control of our lives. He has great plans for us, and 2018 is only just the beginning.

Happy New Year, lovely one! I hope you have a fabulous and blessed 2018.


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

Connect with me on Instagram @fearfullywonderfullyme

**I’m on Twitter!** Follow me @Emily_Susanne1

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