Fearfully Wonderfully Me

Growing in God and Inspiring Young Women Through Faith and Fashion

Tag: marriage

My Problem with Christian Dating

Okay, normally I try not to rant on here, but I’ve recently read something that made me lose it.

It was midnight, and I was looking online for devotions for dating couples. And then somehow I stumbled upon some forum post from a Christian girl saying she refused to do devotionals with a boyfriend because she wanted to guard her heart.

Yup. She said even praying together was too intimate–more than sex!

I’m not trying to judge this person, as we all have different convictions. And she did have some good points about making sure people are solid in their faith personally before entering a relationship.

The real problem I’m having is that I see this type of thinking in a lot of Christian relationships.

Guard your heart. Protect yourself. No intimacy of any kind.

No vulnerability.

Why Are We Guarding? 

Sometimes as Christians, we can take scripture and twist it in ways that seem harmless, but are actually out of balance.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)

When Jesus tells us to guard our hearts, it’s not so we can shut people out. We need to guard our hearts from sin so we can love others better–so love can flow from us.

I used to be afraid because when I was younger and not a serious Christian, I was in relationships that I gave my heart into–foolishly.

That’s my nature. I’m caring, and I’m not afraid to love. I did make mistakes, but I’ve also learned a lot and how to do things better.

Because of what I read online from Christian articles, I honestly feared I would never find love again. That I had given too much of my emotions or self away. That God would deny me a future with someone to love.

But as always, Jesus proved me wrong. And right now I’m in a relationship with someone amazing (although imperfect–just like me) who loves Jesus too.

The Risk of Love

Lovely one, please remember that you are the daughter of a God of redemption. A God of grace.

A God of love.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. (1 John 3:16 NIV)

Jesus didn’t die for us to shut ourselves away from love or to think we are unworthy of love. He died because He saw us–in our sin and mess–and said we were worth the cost.

Love isn’t safe. It’s risky. But love isn’t something to guard yourself from.

After all, the cross was pretty risky, right? Why on earth would we be commanded to love one another if it was easy?

Finding Freedom

Don't be afraid of love dating quote

Of course, we shouldn’t throw caution to the wind with dating. Love and marriage are important commitments. We should pray and read the Word while asking for wisdom.

But let’s stop dating like scared little girls who won’t let anyone in and calling it Biblical, okay?

Date with purity and reverence for God. Take things slow. Pray and read the Word together. As you grow closer, you will develop a spiritual intimacy that will show whether or not you can ever have a healthy marriage.

This advice isn’t just for dating relationships either. Learning to love with honesty and vulnerability is the key to having thriving relationships in all areas of our lives. Of course it doesn’t always come easily, but God walks with us one step at a time.

Don’t be afraid to love. It’s the very thing that sets us free.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV)

Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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Separated at Birth~A Guest Post by Jeffrey H. King

Hello lovely readers and followers! Today’s post is brought to you by Jeffrey H. King. Jeffrey is a Christian blogger and writer with a humorous and creative edge. When he submitted this post about a man’s viewpoint on women and marriage, I was intrigued. It’s really refreshing to hear a Christian man’s perspective. Ladies, this one’s for you. Enjoy!


And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man (Genesis 2:22).

I love women.  I really do.  I find women to be as beautiful as any sunset or sunrise God ever made.  I can sit and watch women walk by for hours just to enjoy these works of art God made.

Why?

Men and women were, shall we say, separated at “birth.”  Women are the better half.  They are the partner God made so man wouldn’t be alone.  They reflect so much of God that you can’t help just wanting to be around them!

I’m not just talking about some company for when you’re lonely or to pick up the remote.  They are life giving and life sustaining.  No man can nurture like a woman.  No man can comfort like a woman.

Let me get specific for you.  My wife Julie and I have been married for 31 years.  I made a real effort to be involved in my daughters’ lives, but when things got ugly, they wanted Mom.  She was the one who taught them their basic life skills, how to act with people, to love books, to make your own games, and so much more.

I’ve found myself skidding up to the grave three times so far; double-bypass, gangrenous gall bladder, and a bad reaction to a drug that should have caused renal failure but didn’t.

My Julie pulled me through each time.  After heart surgery, she helped me sit up in bed in the morning.  I couldn’t do it myself right away.  She dressed me, made GREAT sandwiches for me, and was even part body-guard, always looking out for something I might get hurt by.  She took me to the ER in the middle of the night when my gall bladder perforated, leaking gangrene juice into my abdominal cavity,  and she cared for me when that statin reaction had me so weak I could barely get around.

Let’s face it; my family swam in the shallow end of the gene pool!

I didn’t have any water wings when I found myself in the diving well, but I did have my Julie!

Our marriage is 100/100.  We both give and we both get.  We are partners!  She is my love and my life.  This world would be a darker place without her.

Each of you ladies reading this need to understand that this is the God-given “superpower” bestowed upon each of you!  You are His guardians of life.  You are the best part of man – and God – here to do some awesome work.  And the great thing about that?  It’s your gift.  You come by it naturally.  It’ll happen when the right guy comes along.  It’s like a Tomb Raider movie where the two halves of something special are brought together and the power is released.

I’m not saying there won’t be trials; there will be!  But you are that special part of humanity ordained by God to tend to life.

So, if you are ever walking through a mall or down a street, and some old guy watches you go by where he’s sitting, maybe that’s me watching a beautiful part of Creation pass by.


Hey there, it’s Emily! I hope you all enjoyed this guest post. Stay tuned for Friday because I am planning a special post for you all <3

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment and share 🙂

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