Fearfully Wonderfully Me

Growing in God and Inspiring Young Women Through Faith and Fashion

Tag: self worth (page 1 of 3)

Chasing Worth

I was having lunch with my aunt when she told me about a memory she had of me when I was about seven years old. She said that on my 7th Easter, my cousin and I stood up in church and dedicated our lives to Jesus.

My memory of this is super cloudy, and we never went to church much when I was a kid. However, I always felt that God was real, and that He was drawing me in.

Fast-forward from that childhood moment to ten years later, when I was seventeen and falling apart. I had just broken up with my first boyfriend and was starving myself.

I felt depressed and hopeless, to the point of self-harm. Shame consumed me. I truly thought that the world would be better off without me.

I remember the nights of lying in bed weeping and fighting hunger, asking God if He was there and if He would help me get to sleep. Within a few minutes I would drift off into a warm slumber.

The love of Jesus found other ways to pursue me. I stumbled upon Christian songs and movies, and eventually my mom and I decided to go to church. I was saved the November of my junior year, but the real battle had just begun.

Crumbling Worth

(Like this post? SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL for more!)

Soon I started college. I tried finding my worth in places that always crumbled—boys, achievements, looks—they all failed me. I developed chronic health issues, as well as anxiety. Food became a battle, as my digestive issues made it hard to eat.

I hated the way I looked, even though I was thin from being ill. I isolated myself frequently, until one day, a sweet girl invited me to the church college group. Though I was terrified to go, I actually made friends. Slowly, my relationship with Jesus grew stronger.

The things I was stuck in—such as anxiety and disordered eating—lost their grip on my heart. When I became a leader for the church youth group, I realized I wanted more from life than focusing on the superficial or worldly pursuits I was used to.

During an intensive winter retreat with the youth three years ago, I fully surrendered my life to the Lord. Although I still struggle with anxiety or negative self-image at times, I now recognize these feelings as weapons the devil uses to keep us from God.

I now eat healthily and for the first time in years, I appreciate the body God gave me. Panic attacks and breakdowns are decreasing, and when they happen, I know the Lord is always there to hold me through it. Even my physical health is improving!

A Changed Heart

Chasing Worth

Since I decided to follow Jesus with my whole heart, my life has changed. I found meaning and purpose for my life, and am able to love others better.

There is a cost, of course. I had to give up my old ways of living. But I consider that as nothing compared to the life Christ has given me through His death and resurrection. I may not be perfect, but my Savior is.

As my aunt reminded me of my childhood salvation, I couldn’t help but smile. Although I didn’t understand what that fully entailed as a child, it opened my heart to the Lord.

Now it all makes sense why I’ve always felt Jesus there, even in the midst of my darkest moments. The love of my Father has never left me. God pursues me no matter where I run, and He reminds me that my worth is rooted in Him alone.

Will you make a choice today, lovely one? Will you stop running from God and chasing worth in things that will always fail you? Jesus is ready for you to come home. You don’t have to chase self-worth or love. It was already won for you on the cross.

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3 NIV)

Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

(Images from Canva and Unsplash)

SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL so you never miss a post!

Connect with me on Instagram @fearfullywonderfullyme

**I’m on Twitter!** Follow me @Emily_Susanne1

signature

What Failure Taught Me About Surrender

Ever have one of those days when your thoughts seem to be haunting you? Lately, those days have been frequent for me.

I feel as though God has been working on me about confidence and my identity in Christ, but my own mind likes to self-sabotage.

Life is changing rapidly for me, as I am finishing college and will be getting a real “adult” job. The class and internship work is piling up, and now I know what my friends meant by the term senioritis.

All of this is a recipe for stress and opportunity, and that also means failure.

And I hate failing. I really hate failing.

As a perfectionist, I struggle with anxiety and self-esteem issues. But I know I’m not alone. There are so many people out there who struggle with anxiety and depression.

As I’ve been praying to God about all of this, there is one word He has laid on my heart.

Surrender.

Surrender is the key to freedom, and it is also transforming. If you’re struggling with negative or haunting thoughts, then I urge you to keep reading about what surrender has taught me.

Surrendering Our Broken Pieces

I’ve been a serious Christian for a few years now, and I always thought that surrender just meant giving all of my plans and dreams to the Lord–to let Him have control of my future.

But surrender is so much more than that.

Yes, we should surrender our plans and our desires to the Lord. His plans are better than anything we could ever dream of. And when we trust in God, He will lead us on the most amazing journey ever.

But there’s a lot more to surrender than just giving up the good parts of our lives.

Pain, shame, sin, and fear. These are the things the enemy wants us to hold onto. This is how the devil keeps us in bondage.

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4-5 NIV)

When Jesus took up the cross and died for our sins, He also bore all of our shame and pain. All of the things that haunt us and hold us back from a great life are things He died to free us from.

Christ died to nail our broken pieces to the cross. And He left an empty grave behind in order to fill the emptiness in our lives.

(Like this post? SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL for more!)

Christ fills our emptiness image

The Transformation of Surrender

When we get stuck in our pain or fears, then we get wrapped up in ourselves. We start to feel bad about our lives, and then an evil menace seeps into our hearts.

Pride.

I know that when I have a bad day and think of all the mistakes I’ve made, I miss out on opportunities to do good things for others.

When we get too wrapped up in ourselves, then we cannot fully serve the Lord. It’s the enemy’s trap, but we have the keys to freedom.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

When we choose to follow Christ, we become new creations! We can surrender our pain and mistakes and choose to live a new life with God.

None of us are perfect, and that is why Jesus died for us. This is what Easter is all about. The blood of Jesus covers us, and His grace is bigger than any of our mistakes.

Each new day with God is a fresh start, and we can always choose to move forward in victory.

But it all starts with surrender.


Thanks for reading! I hope you have a blessed Good Friday and Easter. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL so you never miss a post!

Connect with me on Instagram @fearfullywonderfullyme

**I’m on Twitter!** Follow me @Emily_Susanne1

signature

To the Girl Who Feels Unlovable

To the Girl Who Feels Unlovable, 

The day is here. A day of celebration and romance for people in relationships. But for many, it’s a reminder of loneliness.

Although you can choose to make the most of Valentine’s Day as a single person, sometimes heartache just won’t let you.

I was that girl last winter. The girl who worried that she may remain single forever. Let’s face it, finding a nice, Godly man is difficult in today’s world. And it seems nearly impossible when you feel you are unlovable.

As someone who is battling a chronic illness, I often felt that a guy would want nothing to do with me. After all, a lot of days I struggled  just to make it through class or homework. How in the world could I keep up with all of the Instagram-worthy adventurous dates my peers always posted?

I felt hopeless because I couldn’t see my value.

(Like this post? SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL for more!)

What God Sees

If you read last week’s post, then you already have a firm foundation on which your true value lies. It cannot be based on our holiness, because we are sinners who are not worthy of God’s holy presence.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21 NIV)

Even though we are not worthy of salvation on our own, Jesus willingly gave up His life for us anyway. That’s right, lovely one. You are loved enough for God to give up His only Son as a permanent sacrifice for your sins.

If that isn’t heroic and romantic, I don’t know what is.

Although we can’t always see our own value, God does. He loves you no matter what–whether single or married. He loves you even though you have a scarred past or struggle with sin. He loves you even if you’re battling illness or just don’t fit in.

And this will never change.

The Lie of the Unlovable

Sometimes we have to keep reminding ourselves of our value in God’s eyes. The enemy wants you to believe that you’ll be forever alone. And that if you’re single, it means there’s something wrong with you.

Those are lies. Although I can’t guarantee you a spouse, I can promise that God is faithful and knows what’s best for your life. Keep praying and seeking the Lord in your singleness, and you’ll find abundant blessings in your life.

When I was afraid that my health issues made me unworthy of love, a friend of mine reminded me of a beautiful truth.

A man who God wants you to be with will love you for who you are inside, not just for what you can do.

True love is for who you are

True love is about loving someone completely–even their “unlovable” parts. This is what God does for us, and this is the grace that allows relationships to truly thrive.

Just because a guy hasn’t seen your value yet, it doesn’t negate your worth. Good things take time to grow, and the right one is worth the wait.

Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right. (Song of Songs 8:4 NLT)

Your True Identity 

After finally surrendering my dreams of romance and marriage to God, and allowing Him to become my source of confidence, I found unsurpassing peace.

If you’ve been keeping up with my posts, then you probably know I’m in a relationship now. Love is crazy, scary, and good. And when it is real, it goes beyond what we think about ourselves.

To the girl who feels unlovable, I understand. I was you not too long ago, and sometimes I still struggle.

Being in a relationship does not mean you will feel confident and perfectly happy all of the time. People are flawed, and the enemy still creeps in with lies.

But I now know that I am valued by God, no matter what my relationship status is. And so are you, lovely one. Whether you are single or in a relationship, please know that you are loved beyond measure.

God loves the unlovable of this world. He calls you valuable, He calls you daughter, He calls you redeemed.

He calls you His.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. (Ephesians 2:4-5 NIV)


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL so you never miss a post!

Connect with me on Instagram @fearfullywonderfullyme

**I’m on Twitter!** Follow me @Emily_Susanne1

signature

You May Not Be Worthy, but You Are Valued

I scroll through Instagram, glancing at the images when I see the increasingly popular hashtag attached to inspirational Christian posts.

#worthy

The concept of worthiness is popular in makeup commercials and diet ads. And that makes sense, of course. Self-care and beauty products tell us we’re worth it because a hardworking woman deserves such things. However, this is a worldly standard, not a Biblical one. When it comes to salvation, we must face a harsh truth.

We are not worthy–not even close.

But we are valued.

Worthy of Nothing

What’s the difference between having worth and being valued? Well, for the spiritual purpose of this post, worthiness is counted as holiness. Throughout history, man has been elevating himself even above God in terms of worth.

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned (Romans 5:12 NIV)

Well, that’s not a feel good Bible verse to highlight. But that’s reality. We’re all sinners deserving of death. Perhaps it might not seem that way to most of us. After all, there are some pretty messed up people out there. All you have to do is watch the news.

But don’t let your pride fool you, lovely one. We all sin. It starts with lust, greed, hatred, and rebellion. It sneaks up slowly. It’s inescapable. And despite what the world says, there are no amount of works we can do to save ourselves.

So why on earth am I preaching this fire and brimstone? Well, lovely one, without darkness, we could not understand light. Without pain and ugliness, we could never know healing and beauty.

We could never fathom how valued we are by God, even in the midst of our unworthiness.

 Valued to The Cross

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. (John 3:16-18 NIV)

It’s one of the most famous passages of the Bible, yet the meaning never ceases to amaze me. In our natural sinful state, we stand condemned.

But God, out of love for His children who have rebelled, decided to sacrifice His perfect Son Jesus Christ, so that we might be saved.

Why did God do this for humanity when we are so unworthy? Because He saw value in us. We may not be worthy of God’s perfect holiness, but He considers us valuable enough to die for!

Jesus paid it all image

 

God came down as a man to reach out to you in all of your imperfections and struggles. He came down to stretch out a loving, tender hand to you. He did this because He values you, lovely one.

We can choose to place our value in many things in this world. Our looks, money, success, or relationships. However, our true value can only come from the one who created us–body and soul.

Perhaps I’m not the “worthy” queen of Instagram. But that’s okay, I don’t have to be. We don’t have to pretend to be perfect and holy, because Jesus values us enough to make us holy through His death on the cross.

Jesus paid it all, and that’s worth more than anything this world has to offer.

But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. (Isaiah 43:1 NIV)


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL so you never miss a post!

Connect with me on Instagram @fearfullywonderfullyme

**I’m on Twitter!** Follow me @Emily_Susanne1

signature

How to Find Your Self Worth

This is going to sound totally cliché, but I had a real “God moment” at Chick Fil A a couple of weeks ago.

While I waited for my food, I noticed an older woman sitting in a wheel chair. My heart just melted. For some reason she reminded me of my grandma, who passed away last year.

The woman and I introduced ourselves and discussed flowers. As I was leaving the restaurant, she said something that caught me off guard:

It’s nice to know you. 

How many people do we meet everyday, yet we don’t even really know or see their worth? 

At that moment, when I looked into the woman’s dark yet vibrant eyes, I realized how important it is to actually be known by someone. To slow down and look at a person’s face and take it all in. To find out that their favorite flower is a purple cone flower.

If you want to know the key to finding your self worth, then please keep reading. 

Worth in Creation

There are a lot of people who are lost, not realizing their identity and worth in Christ. I know this because I was that person. As a teenager I didn’t feel like anyone saw me–unless they were looking at my flaws.

I know I’m not the only one who understands these feelings. Many teens and adults have experienced this. Maybe even you, lovely reader.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV

It still blows my mind to know that God created me and set me apart–and it was for His own will and pleasure! You are not an accident, lovely one. No matter what anyone else says–whether they are a parent, friend, or someone else close to you–you matter.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14 NIV

Not only are we created by God, but He thinks we’re awesome! Although we are sinners, as soon as we come to know Christ, we are washed clean by His blood. This is when we can shine God’s light and see what He sees in us.

Worth in Relationship

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—” (John 10:14 NIV)

When we choose to follow Jesus, we enter into a relationship with Him that is more dynamic than we could ever fathom. Not only does God know us, but now we can get to know Him.

And that’s not all. Through this lifelong journey, we can also get to know ourselves. We can discover our strengths, weaknesses, and talents. We can watch God’s purpose for our lives unfold as we build a life with Him.

The only way you’ll ever find your worth is if you find yourself in Jesus. You won’t find it in earthly things like work, success, or relationships.

God knows you, and He wants every single piece of your heart. It’s amazing when somebody knows you, but there is nothing like being known by the King who created you. 


Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

Connect with me on Instagram @fearfullywonderfullyme

SUBSCRIBE BY EMAIL so you never miss a post!

signature

Older posts
%d bloggers like this: